Well! I guess we all go through different stages of our life and I think motherhood is one of them. However, Joy and I have decided not to have one of those little brats. I think the main reason is we are both lazy and we absolutely do not want to take responsibility. Well, not to say I do not admire those women who multitask and manage their kids and homes so beautifully. But I realized a long time ago this was not for us so we are happy with our decision irrespective of what people may say. So comments to make us change our minds are simply not welcome.
As social beings we love inviting people over for a meal. That translates to inviting the kids too since in India, there is no concept of hiring a babysitter to take care of your kids while the parents go enjoy a leisurely meal. And that further translates to Joy and my skills in babysitting the kids while attempting to throw a near perfect dinner party. No offence, some of these brats are totally adorable. However, we do need to keep running and checking whether they are fiddling with any sockets, tripping over any computer wires, fiddling with any gadgets or out to break anything special we own while some of the parents turn a blind eye to their antics. The last party, one kid was so obsessed with the TV remote control and kept fiddling with all the buttons and it hasn’t functioned since.
I read an article the other day where some public places are kid free zones. India is waking up to the fact that there are some places that need to be kid free and just because you adore your kids, you cannot expect everyone to do the same especially if they are being a public nuisance. The article I read mentioned that in the US, parents usually hire babysitters so that they can go and enjoy a movie and make it enjoyable for other moviegoers too sans the whiny kids.
The same situation moves to India, totally different scenario. Joy’s colleague once mentioned that he and his wife frequent one of the so called multiplexes in town, plonk down on those cushy seats and let their kids run amok. He said it with such glee that I guess Joy didn’t have the heart to tell him that what could have been a totally great movie experience as being advertised by these multiplexes are shattered by the blind love some of these parents have for their kids. Why can’t parents discipline their kids and make them behave?
Then there is this good friend of mine living in another continent. I still picture her as a tomboy with short hair jumping over the classroom window. That is why I guess I am amazed at her transformation after having a baby. Now I have to keep in mind that she is a Mom first and foremost. Life has absolutely changed for her and for me too in a way. Her social networking site revolves around her kid. You have pics posted in almost every pose the kid made in his life (well, I am exaggerating a wee bit, but the albums dedicated to little ones these days are immense). Well, kid taking a bath, kid smiling, kid sleeping, kid with teddy, kid in his birthday suit (trying to avoid gender bias) and so on. In fact the kid’s birthday invitation arrived through that same social networking site where we could all catch up with the events being held. Well cribs apart, I appreciate the fact that technology has evolved to such an extent that though we live a continent away, we could all be a part of one of the most special days in their life.
Coming back to friends, I guess I am a little insecure at the back of my mind. I always took them for granted and I might be a wee bit jealous coz their priorities have changed. I now need to accept that the little ones are part and parcel of our lives too. The way I interact with them has changed. The mails, scraps or phone calls I receive are about their kids. So I need to be equally polite and ask them questions or remember social etiquette and pick up a little something for the little one when I am visiting. Even the meals I make these days are kids centric depending on their likes and dislikes. Kids today are smart and know exactly what they want and are not at all hesitant to mention it these days (sometimes can be embarrassing for the parents).
For instance, one thing I really miss is the group vacations we used to go on. Now since Joy’s good friends had an adorable baby girl, they announced that vacations are out of their scheme of things for now. So that leaves us with fewer options with the dwindling number of couples sans kid in tow.
4 comments:
hahaha-i just read that n killed myself laughing-i was u 1 yr n 9 months ago till i realised the biological clock was ticking n it was time to figure out whether a kid produced by v n me wud look like ET or not. hey he doesn't look that bad after all....n yes firts i bored u with pics n conversation about my dog n coz u're my best pal u've got to hear about the baby(i promise i tlak to the baby about u)....coz whether u like it or not u'll always be his mashi....
I am guilty of loving my child to distraction and turning a blind eye to him ruining my friends remote (it's only material stuff) however i am equally uilty when my friends baby dropped in n decided to puke on my 'persian'(wink wink) rug-i was close to smacking her except she hadn't reached that age to know whata smack meant. in the menatime i continue to encourage my chil ot ake a mess at ohter ppl's houses whilst keeping mine mess free (thierry comes handy at these occassions). most time i just pray for abit of sleep but when i am given the opportunity i wonder what to do with myself...yes i'm guity of being a psych mom-. hey n i object y wasn't another close pal (ole chinky eyes) mentioned here. i rememebr u telling me her son was abs adorable n i didn't beleiev u-he's still a bratt!!-LOL
o n for the record I do love u-always have always will!! keep em coming
Well, to see the positive side....ur so important that both u n ur kid were mentioned in the first blog I've written ....And the only reason chinky eyes was not mentioned is that she threatened me on Facebook that I had better not write abt her kid.....:)) Wonder if you read that threatening message on my wall...:) I am so scared....Jokes apart, I guess I am reaching some kind of mid life crisis....getting older comes with its share of identity crisis I guess and my jobs adding to the stress.... Isn't that a good excuse to write about all and sundry and get away with it...:)
I went to a friends house for a dinner once. There was another couple with a 4 year old kid. The host has a Pit-bull dog(violent category). The dog is known for bad temperament. What i witnessed during the course of dinner was so unbelievable. The kid was such a pain in the neck. The kid was literally "a bull in a china shop". He broke 4 fine china plates, put some ink marks on the new leather couch, spilt juice on her new rug and terrorised the pit-bull so much that the poor dog hid under the table throughout the ordeal and refused to come out. WE have also passed through the same stage but never even once we misbehaved at someone's place. I have had kids at my house who have purposely broken expensive crystals and opened all the drawers and closets including refrigerator and their parents instead of scolding the kids, jsut tell their kid "No, no...dont do that otherwise aunty will be angry.or a mere its ok.." I wonder how is it OK? I am not anti-kids, in fact i love being around them but then there is a very thin line between being naughty and being ill-mannered..but people like us have to suffer whereas parents are the ones who need to discipline them, just the way our parents did.
I agree with u Kate. I have met some well mannered kids too but these days their numbers are dwindling.
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